A Sea of Troubles

9 03 2006


The world around me is plain, in hues of greys, black and white. What they say to me cannot hold me here for more than moments. I am terrified of the freedoms I possess, the seeming freedoms that do charge me to act, succeed, and live. It would be easier no doubt, to be in life swayed entirely by the tides around me. However I cannot take up arms against this, my sea, because I do indeed have my own strength, an independent will that governs the courses of my actions which flow out of my body and into that indomitable tide. To take up arms and construct anew this earth would be the same as to surrender to the waves; neither makes a difference. But to move delicately admist the waves towards the particulars in life that we desire, that and that alone is life for those who choose this woeful medium.

That, my friends, is where our life begins. At the recollection that all is the nothing you’ve always known it was. Life is not the absence of death, but the intermingling of death in the shape of flow, creation, and motion. The cold, unwedded sea does so toss and turn us that we are like prisoners, trapped. And this is what we have been spoon-fed as life. Life is that distant shore which the tides will not ever let us reach, though by ingenuity we create companions, ships, and sails. There is but death deep below, and life far across, and above there is only sky. Though our life now seems to be this impregnable vessel of despair, we must acknowledge the happy tides that sway and shape us, the shallow emotions we keep breathing for. To arrive at that distant shore is not a dream, but an impossibility.

What then of love, of that appetizing dessert for the cynics? Faith is the substance that keeps us afloat, the empty fear that judgment will impound the soul. A faith in God is but an unnatural belief in the union of the plight of the many; it is a belief in purpose, a trust constructed by the people merely to function. Love, too, is cherishable in that same sense. Love unites the wandering souls in the tide, who by a combination of will, pursue in union their own goals. For many, that is life. A life where we can ignore the tides from time to time and instead rejoice in the perfection of companionship. I will not criticize these people, for I myself am but one of a countless multitude who have experienced such a union in varying degrees. They and by they, I too; love is meaningful, because rather than seeing the woes and struggles of life, we ignore that distant shore and willingly face the tides. Love allows the human race to cope, react, create, succeed, survive, be true, be emotional, be profound, and simply be.

And still I see the world in the fleshless tones of forgotten films, in that inhuman cinescape of black and white.



One response

6 09 2006

Brilliant writing for sure but I must say that I disagree with your assumptions. You haven’t held your child in your arms yet, or possibly felt the presence of that collective unconscious you’ve read about subjectively rather than objectively. It “is” in itself rather than an observation on your part (or mine). It’s not my imagination or yours. It “is”. As we have discussed, after your searching you will undoubtedly be disappointed in so many ways with life and the participants thereof but it still is an incredibly wonderful ride we are on for those of us who choose to participate, and why not participate to the fullest extent possible. We know for certain that death is something other than our existence and there appears to be plenty of time for that in the future. When looked at in it’s totality, with all it’s pain and injustice not withstanding, it still is an incredible experience which could not possibly be created by random chance. Why would the god’s of probability bother! The incredible tapestry of choice and destiny we weave is too special to be randomly determined. As bright as you are, do you think that all of this is for nothing? How could that be? What an incredible waste of time and why would the creator bother if that’s the case. Is it that we are ants in someone elses ant farm? I truly doubt that. I for one choose to be happy, choose to be good, and hopefully tread lightly and positively on the souls of our fellow travelors. Everything else is superfluous.

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